que sera sera

I am a mom.  I am a wife.  I get to stay home with my sweet little man.  I have the awesome job of taking care of our home, my husband, and our son.  No, I don't get "paid" for it like most peopl get paid at their jobs, but I am wealthy!  I couldn't ask for a better "career."  My husband works hard to give me the opprotunity to raise our son, I am so thankful.   I get to watch him grow and learn new things every day.  I am able to be there when he gets hurt, when he has victories, when he is sick, when he is sleeping, I get to make every meal for him...and the list goes on.  I cannot imagine having to send him to another person to take care of his needs.  My husband knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom, and he is making it happen.   I think there are a lot of people who don't have a lot of respect for moms like me, who find little value in a young woman who hasn't started her "career"...but to me, there is no greater calling. ...

Being a good parent is not for the faint of heart.  How do I communicate my wishes to my 16 month old strong willed son?  How do I gently discipline him?  Do I discipline him, or is he too little to even understand.  How can I show him that just because I walk around the corner without him doesn't mean I have vanished into thin air leaving him all alone?  Why can't I just sit around and play with him all day long without any distractions?  Well, I could...but there is always cleaning, cooking, laundry, mowing, grocery shopping, and so many other responsibilities to be done.  I know he is only little for this short time, so how do I find balance in spending all my time focused on his needs while taking care of everything else?  I want him to trust me.  I want him to be safe and happy and healthy.  I know he is learning and growing so quickly right now, and I want to make the right choices in how I respond to his emotions & actions. ...

June 28, 1966 my amazing mommy was born.  Today, June 28, 2014, we will celebrate the life she had with family and friends. My little family, along with my awesome brother and his family, my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, great grandmother, my in-laws, and my great friends are all here in Florida together.  This has been a VERY rare occasion for us since she died in 1996.   Today we will dedicate our precious son to the Lord.  So amongst the tears that I am sure will be shed, there is also much joy.  I know my mom would be here with us and be so proud of her family.    Today will be a day that goes down in history for our family once again, and I am so happy we are able to make this commitment to the Lord with our son on her birthday.   Someday we will all be together again in Heaven celebrating Christ and His eternal love.  He is the one who has made all of this possible.  He is the one who will receive the glory today. Can't wai...

Almost midnight.  I should be sleeping.  Can't stop thinking.  Feeling super nostalgic and a little sentimental...missing my friends and family who are all far away.  Thinking about the laughter, the tears, and memories over the years.  (Why am I rhyming?  Weird!) Just wishing we all lived a little closer.  As much as we have texting, facetime, skype, facebook, e-mail, and all the rest...nothing beats spending actual time in person with the ones you love.  Wishing I could hug them, laugh with them, smell them, and enjoy life with all of them.   The world feels so small sometimes, these days everyone and everything feels like it is at your fingertip.  Sure, almost anything can be, thanks to Google, but it just isn't the same.  Looking forward to reunions with my sweet friends and family, hoping for sooner than later. I should be sleeping!!  Goodnight:)

So I came to the realization recently that where I'm currently at in life, I don't fit in.  I am a 26 year old wife and stay at home mom in a still fairly new place to live, with no family close by.  I am not complaining here, I love where I am at in my life, I just wish I fit in somewhere. The people close to my age around here are either single women, newly wedded, single men, young couples without kids, older couples without kids, or older single people without kids.  Slim pickins around here, trying to find people who share a common lifestyle.   I do have some pretty good friends here, but I always feel like an intruder, because I am on the outside bubble more often then not.   It would be so cool to have some friends close to my age with babies who wouldn't mind spending time with me and my little man.  I am probably a pretty boring person, since I am constantly entertained and entertaining my mini me. It doesn't take much to make me happy, that is why...

Today.   Right now.   I just feel weird.   Not overly happy or sad, not upset or anxious...just different.  A little nostalgic, maybe somewhat wishful, a little melancoly, tired, a bit down, but not desparing... I don't know.  A lot on my mind.   Wouldn't it be great if we never had to experience loss?  I mean, not just by death, but circumstances.  It stinks that good relationships with people have to end.  I miss old friends.  I miss loved ones who have died.  I wish we could catch up on life & reminisce about old times.  I would love to be able to show my sweet baby boy off to my mom and my old friends who I can no longer talk to.  Not to necessarily "pick up where we left off," but just to be where we are and be normal.   Holding on tight to my loved ones now, hoping none of them vanish anytime soon.   Life is so strange in the way it twists and turns Just feeling weird. 

Never really REALLY thought I would actually be called mommy.  It is the most amazing role I have ever taken in my life.  I know every mom must feel this way.  How does one put it into words?  Are there words to even express how it feels becoming and being a mom?  I don't think so!  I will do my best here. That moment when you find out you are pregnant, a little tiny person is growing inside you, closer to your heart than any other human being will ever be, your whole world changes!  I felt like myheart would  explode because it was suddenly overflowing with an unexplainable love.  As your baby grows over those precious nine months, believe it or not...so does your heart<3.   My sweet sweet miracle was born on May 15, 2013 right here at our home in his very own room.  When I saw him and held him, I thought I would just burst.  That instant connection a mother has with their precious newborn baby is like no other.  It re...

I am so beyond being over Winter and snow this year.  I love it, the snow when it first falls...everything being white, looking clean and fluffy...but now, it is just yuck.  I haven't seen my front yard for so long, I barely remember what it looks like.  I miss going outside without a coat & hat.  I long for the days of sitting on a blanket on the lawn playing with my son.  I am just burnt out on being cold.   I am ready for Spring!!  Come on!

Son. Brother. Husband. Father. Uncle. Teacher. Genuine. Passionate. Driven. Smart. Talented. Brave. Handsome. Loving. Quiet. Long suffering. Patient. Sweet. Kind. Funny. Simple. Focused. Distracted. Forgetful. Cute. "Hangry". (😝) Ambitious. Loyal. Honest. Goofy. Hard working. Encouraging. Introvert. Awesome! Mine!!!! I love HIM!!!   xoxo my love

What I plan to write about this year: -Our Birth Story -Our 5 Year anniversary -Our trip to Korea-> with G -My 26th birthday -G's first birthday -Our summer escapades -Goals, plans, dreams -Life:)

HOW are we almost in March already!?!  I am losing my mind with how fast time is going.  I have an almost 10 month old child!!!  What in the world?  Looking forward though.  We will be traveling to South Korea in less than 2 weeks...that should be GREAT!  A week or so after we get home, is my big "entrance into my late 20's."  There is a possible road trip to Virginia in April....May 1st is hubs birthday, he will officially be in his mid 30's!  Then....dun duh duh dun, May 15 is G's FIRST birthday!!!  WOW-WEE, my mind is blown. School will be over towards the end of May, and we will have "daddy" all to ourselves for a month ;).  The end of June we will be driving to Florida for G's baby dedication, on my mommy's birthday as well as a big overdue family reunion on the same day.  We head to Tennessee after that for our dear friend's wedding the following weekend.  Will hopefully spend a couple days in Kentucky visiting my broth...

I am obsessed. I am infatuated.  I am amazed.  I am a little crazy. Since I can remember, probably around 5 years old, I  have been totally fascinated by.....pregnancy & birth.  I have only just recently admitted this (within the last month) to anyone......my husband. ha!  I don't know why I have never talked about it before.  I have always put on a facade about the whole subject (refer  here ). I always wanted to be the pregnant mommy when playing house as kid.  My cousin would be the doctor or dad, and we would pretend like I was giving birth to my water baby.  I would lay on the bed and pull out the doll from under my shirt...cause that is where all babies come from, our belly buttons of course! I can still recall the first time seeing a pregnant lady on TV in labor...it was Vivian on Fresh Prince of Bel Air!  I was at my grandparents house watching the show with my grandma while she folded laundry.  I was captivated ha...

The last time I was here, I was hiding a "big" secret.  I can no longer hide it.  The secret was revealed almost 10 months ago...HOW in the world has it been that long ago already!?  We had a baby:)  Yep, you guessed it!  I somehow kept my pregnancy a secret for 9 months!...not from everyone, of course.  Best kept secret ever.  I don't know anyone else who has kept something that big and exciting a secret from their best friends for that long....leave it to me. Here are a few pictures of me and my pregnant belly.  For future reference, I plan to have professional pictures taken next time around, if there is a next time:)