que sera sera

I have never made one of these before,  but thought I would, since I kinda have  an excuse with Christmas coming up.   been eyeballin these for a while :o)   Nikon 1 J1 Two Lens Zoom Kit in Pink                    Daytrip Checkered Vest neutral booties                     wrap around black belt cape/trench <3 ipad2...who doesn't want one? :P rock revival jeans Washi Swivel Shears 2S101 DR Three-Fingers

Lucky to have certain people in my life.  Stephen Shipley is one of my favorite friends :o)...known him for too long already, and probably know too many things about him, but thankful for long lasting friends that never change. (summer08)

be original.  be yourself.  think on your own.  stop being a fake.  speak your own thoughts.  stop trying so hard to fit in.  be unique, if thats what you are.

This time last year my husband, our pup, and I were living in a tiny little truck bed camper in the middle of NO MAN'S land California.  Our energy was powered by a generator that we had to fill with gas every single day, and our heat was powered by propane tanks that were so old we could hardly find a place to get them filled.  Thanksgiving was a cold, gloomy, rainy day and we were stuck inside all day.  We tried to cook food on our tiny stove, but it was by no means a traditional Thanksgiving.  We watched movies almost all day and played with our pup, who was still new to us.  I was so heart broken, I could hardly see straight.  He held me together when I felt like falling to pieces.  I had a lot to be thankful for, I had my health, my husband, I had food, family...you know, all the things we are always used to having.  I was still so sad.  I wanted to spend the holiday cooking, eating, spending time with the people I love, being comfortabl...

   Why Must I Continue Giving You Second Chances??? :P

IT'S TOMORROW!!!!!

Go back to the days when we would receive a new toy for birthdays, Christmas's, or for just any old reason.... Remember how excited we would get??  Remember playing with that toy and taking it everywhere, and telling your friends about it, maybe sleeping with it at your bedside, or maybe it was the first thing you thought about when you woke up and before you went to bed you were sure to play with it????  I remember a few new things that I was that way with.  My first tamagotchi (virtual pet, for those who didn't have one), my first stereo/CD player, and I'm sure there were a few others.  I remember feeling a little bit like my "status" changed once I had those things...it was like people knew how cool I was, even if they didn't actually know I had a new CD player at home. haha..  After time passed, I realized it was no big deal.  I forgot about those things and moved on to bigger better stuff.  The things that I was so excited about and obsessed with ...

  When people treat me differently for reasons I am unaware of...like suddenly something about me changed???  I am sooo confused.  I shouldn't be, this has happened millions of times in my life.  Maybe people just wake up one morning deciding that they don't like me anymore??...Story of my life....  Only a few consistent people I have ever met...few and far between.  Maybe it's me...maybe I am the problem, not everyone else.  O well, all I can do is be myself, if only a few people like me..I am ok with that, as long as they are consistent :)  I think every single person's biggest fear is rejection...it doesn't matter what form of rejection it is.  I will admit, almost all my fears root from my fear of rejection, and it almost never fails that every time I try to open up and let people into my life, I end up being pushed away.  Working on staying true to myself no matter who likes me or not...I still want to hold my head high in confidenc...

(source: stuffthatsbugginme.blogspot.com) I often feel like this on the inside!!!

gotta love the one sided conversations ...

Never fails to make me smile :o)

I just wish I could put into words how I feel.  IMPOSSIBLE sometimes.  It always comes out WRONG....keep my feelings to myself??  Easier said than done SOMETIMES.  I never want to hurt anyone, but I'm afraid I sometimes do.  I can't always change the way I feel, but I try...should I have to?  Lucky for me..the people I spend my time with love me (or they say they do)..and I LOVE them too.  Hopefully we can understand each other....

... small   hands on BIG people... -people with short arms that try to hug me. -people who smell like cabbage..or any food for that matter. -car crashes -people who yell when they are angry -crying babies...(creepy..sorry!) -captive alligators -morbidly obese people (this is not me being rude, i am just afraid they might fall on me, legit fear) -pregnant women (reaaallly NOT COOL!) -big ugly scars ='( -trees falling -big machinery  -hospitals...intensive care floor..  -the smell of nursing homes..(makes me feel like people are dying) ='( -being food poisoned -drunk drivers...or just bad drivers in general -people who thrive on drama.. -being a bad speller -disappointing people i care about -feeling regretful -losing my memory -people with dirty teeth -driving through big puddles  -looking down when i am up high -not having access to my family  -rumors -tearing a hole in my pants in public :P (this has happened to my big bro ma...

I just want to step back into the windy city for a few minutes, just so I can go back to my favorite place in the city....  Molly's Cupcakes !!!!  

Unfortunately for a good 4 years of my teenage life I was succumbed to one of the most manipulative people I have ever met.  After I finally got her out of my life, for the most part, I fell into a terrible relationship with someone who was just as bad, if not worse. I don't know what it was about me, but something must have screamed, "take advantage of me," all over my face!  The worst part was that I knew these people were this way, and yet I continued to keep them in my life...they practically were my life.  You could say I was fearful of hurting feelings...or maybe I just didn't care enough about myself to say anything.  Once I finally got the nerve, I let it all out.  It's difficult to explain when you feel like you are being manipulated, but we all likely know how it feels.  I don't know what makes a person that way, I just know that it is ONE characteristic that I do NOT appreciate or like.  It's always a sticky situation getting ...