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first impressions & so on & such forth

first impressions can either make you or break you.  it's almost impossible to undo what has been done during that first interaction.  when we are young we just don't realize how important it is to make good first impressions.  it's too bad!!..but i guess we learn.

....hate feeling obligated to people.  there are some people that i genuinely enjoy spending time with, and others...well...i wouldn't care if we spent a little less time with each other.  has nothing to do with liking or not liking people, just the quality of the time being spent with people is what makes the difference for me.  ugh...obligation....boooo.  don't get me wrong, i love people, i love getting to know people, and letting them get to know me...but there are just SOME that i don't really want to get to know me....vulnerable.

speaking of vulnerability...still working on the whole trust thing.  hoping i can trust, wanting to trust, working on trusting.  there are only a handful of people i have EVER met that i know are truly trustworthy.  it's hard.  how can we love without trusting first?  sometimes people get petty and when they do..you start to wonder.  i am wondering.  

my first impression wasn't the greatest...i feel obligated....comes with the "package" or something..walking on eggshells.  nothing to hide...i mean..i have my own personal life that most people aren't allowed into, but...i want to trust.  i will let people know who i am, who i have been, where i have been, regrets, things i would do a million times over again, who i want to be, experiences, dreams, and goals..but there are certain things that i like to keep for myself.  i worry... a lot.  i shouldn't!  i worry about what people think about me, i hope that they like me.  i haven't always been liked.  i hope that they are honest, and can keep secrets.  the best people to ever know are the kind of people that know how to keep a secret when you ask them.  don't know too many people like that.  is anyone worth spending time with or worth letting in?  will i be hurt by them?  will they tell my secrets?  it's the one's i feel obligated to that i worry about.  

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